I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
