I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize