Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
