I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You're like the curious george of whores
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
