hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
