I am puke
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
