Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
