So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize