So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
