she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
