sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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