im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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