so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
