As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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