Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I got inside last night via doggy door
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
