Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
