i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
