Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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