Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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