it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
