well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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