Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
