just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
