Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
