That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
