If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
