Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
