Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
