grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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