I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize