At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
