i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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