The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
