if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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