I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
