We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
