in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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