Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
