your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
