I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
