you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
