i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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