I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
