so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
