So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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