It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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