She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize