i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How's work?
Spinning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
