why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
