you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
