I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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