Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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