I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize