talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
