I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize