You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
