You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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