Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
